Smells Like Yukon Flog

In the process of evaluating the Flog’s performance for the high-yield search term “michael pealow auto erotica” (#1 with a bullet!), our Search Engine Optimization Specialist has discovered that the title Auto Erotica (recently attached to the CD compilation of Smells Like Yukon’s first two radio seasons) has been previously used by some sort of movie starring David Duchovny.

As you may recall, this year has already brought us legal threats from a litigious Yukon herbalist, a famous CBC personality, and several other parties who Smells Like Yukon can’t name under the terms of court-approved settlements. Given our current urine poncho-related financial difficulties, the last thing we can really afford right now is yet another costly legal battle, so we decided to take a proactive approach to this situation and contacted the producers of this other Auto Erotica. To make a long story short, they’re going to let us continue to use the title–on the condition that we watch their movie and write a synopsis for the film’s woefully incomplete IMDB page.

If any Flog readers have seen this film, or would be willing to watch it in order to evaluate its X-rated content on our behalf, you’d be doing us a huge favour. And who knows, you might even enjoy it.

For Caption Contest #15, we promised six special edition fridge magnets to the Meandering Michael who entered the best caption. After enlisting his young daughter as a pawn in a high stakes game to collect this alleged prize in the children’s playground at Rotary Peace Park, he later expressed surprise that the magnets actually existed. As Michael will hopefully confirm for all prospective contest entrants, the magnets really do exist–and they are SPECTACULAR. The lesson here: not everything you read on the Smells Like Yukon website is complete bullshit.

In addition to walking away with his tourism-slogon-spoofing bounty, Michael also had some Auto Erotica pressed into his hot little hand, which we can only assume he is now enjoying, alone, in his sleek Scandinavian station wagon.

If there are any lingering doubts as to the reality or quality of Smells Like Yukon’s caption contest prizes, consider the fact that Michael submitted his entry for Caption Conest #16 in record time, notwithstanding a short delay due to browser refreshing issues. Since we are out of fridge magnets, and Michael is already in possession of Auto Erotica, we can only assume that he’s very eager to win the beautifully compact umbrella that Mark, in an uncharacteristic and as-yet unexplained outburst of generosity, donated as a prize for the current contest.

We’ll also provide Auto Erotica to the winner, so if no one submits an entry to unseat the reigning champion, he’ll be doubling his pleasure… which is probably the last thing he needs.

At the outset, the creators of Smells Like Yukon anticipated critical reviews that might include adjectives such as “informative”… “insightful”… intelligent”… “moving”… “ground-breaking”… and even “ear-shattering.” And the radio series has certainly been branded all these things. But we’ve also been completely shocked by the frequency with which the series has been described as “erotic.”

Yes, erotic.

It makes perfect sense, when you think about it. Jesse’s voice has that oh-so sultry quality that has been known to drive both men and women wild. And we’re not just talking about Mark and Jesse’s wife. There are others. Trust us.

With Smells Like Yukon now on its summer hiatus from CBC radio, we realize that some people will be missing their irregular dose of erotic radio delights, while others will discover the world of Smells Like Yukon for the first time via the Internet–and be impatient to hear what all the fuss is about. We also realize that listening to the audio archives through the Smells Like Yukon Members Club can be a little inconvenient, especially when you’re driving all over hell’s half-acre to jam as much camping and music festivaling as possible into the Yukon’s brief summer.

So, for anyone who’s interested in enough free entertainment to get you from Whitehorse to Atlin, Skagway, Five Finger Rapids, Teslin or somewhere just north or south of Haines Junction, some private citizen unaffiliated with Smells Like Yukon will be happy to burn you a portable copy of Auto Erotica–otherwise known as the first two seasons of Smells Like Yukon. The only catch: you have to mail two blank CDs and a suitably-sized self-addressed stamped envelope to the following address:

Auto Erotica
c/o 21 Tagish Road
Whitehorse, YT Y1A 3P4
CANADA

Yes, there’s always a risk that this is just a scam to help Smells Like Yukon buy its way out of urine-poncho related financial difficulties by fleecing its fan base of blank audio media and postage (to the tune of an estimated $1.10 per sucker).

But then again, there’s a always the risk that you’ll actually receive the recordings.

On Wednesday, the airing of Smells Like Yukon’s final segment of the season heralded the arrival of summer (sorry about the two-week delay). And now, it is with pleasure–well, not so much pleasure as a misguided sense of obligation–that we herald the publication of the Smells Like Yukon Season 2 Wrap-Up Poll.

Yes, it’s your big chance to vote for your favourite story of the past season. This year, the story that receives the most votes will be invited back for a future “All-Stars” season, while the story with the fewest votes will be personally fired by BC billionaire Jim Pattison. Assuming you’re not blinded by the graphic on the poll’s webpage, we hope you’ll vote at least once to help us separate the wheat from the chaff–or the chaff from the chaffier, if that’s how you want to look at it.

We have to say, we’re really fond of this poll. First, because it’s super-easy to put together. And second, because it’s the one occasion during the year when Smells Like Yukon really indulges itself….

At last, we have an image for Caption Contest #16. The SLY design squad slaved for hours to come up with the concept for this ridiculous image, then hours more to painstikingly create it in Photoshop.

We think you’ll agree that the results are amazingly lifelike–almost so real that you’d question whether or not the image, or any part of it, had been manufactured at all. You might even ask yourself whether this is just a photo taken in the food stalls at the recent Canada Day celebration in Whitehorse’s Shipyards Park. But then you’d reconsider and ultimately conclude that the idea is simply too far-fetched (groan) to be anything other than the most inspired flight of absurdity ever fabricated by Smells Like Yukon in its brief but illustrious history.

All but one of the special edition Yukon magnets that were anonymously donated as prizes for the caption contests have now been claimed, which means the winner of Caption Contest #16 won’t collect the incredible bounty that was up for grabs in the previous contest. But if the previous winner would be kind of enough to submit his entry (and probably the only one) in the next 24 hours, he could at least save us the trouble of arranging multiple deliveries.

Unlike the majority of our posts, this one is just like the title says. It’s too sunny to waste a lot of time typing maniacally–or whatever it is we do here–so we’ll get right to the goodies.

At long last, the season finale “Danger Liasons” aired this morning on CBC Yukon. As usual, you’ll find some outtakes and other stuff on the Behind the Sounds page for this segment. And, as a special treat for the Smells Like Yukon Members Club, we’ve already posted the segment to the audio archives, so you won’t have to wait all summer if you missed today’s broadcast. We were hoping to have the full-length interview with Dr. Brendan Hanley, Yukon’s Medical Officer of Health, available on the website, too, but technical difficulties have so far prevented its uploading. If it’s any consolation, there’s nothing funny about the interview. But then again, there’s nothing funny about unnecessary head injuries, working, or herpes, either.

In short order, we’ll have the image posted for the next caption contest. (Or maybe Michael Pealow could just write a caption, then we’ll find a photo to go with it?) We’ll also be posting a new online poll–your chance to choose your favourite segment of Smells Like Yukon’s second season.

The entry for Caption Contest #15 has been judged and, as anticipated, Michael Pealow has walked away with the title of “winner.” In addition to several coffees of dubious quality, Michael now has the option to collect a set of lovely fridge magnets that might remind you a little of a certain tourism department’s ubiquitous slogon. He also earns a few brownie points for adding a link to the definition of pigsticking, which will make more sense if you’ve seen the photo or read his winning caption.

To collect his prize (should he dare), Micheal has the option to arrange delivery in one of the following ways:

a) Baby stroller driven by Mark
b) Dog team driven by Mike Grieco
c) Mike Grieco driven by Yukon MP Larry Bagnell
d) Canada Post

The image for Caption Contest #16 will be posted within a couple of days.

Oh, and while we maybe have your attention…. another reminder that the final segment of Smells Like Yukon’s second season is scheduled to air tomorrow morning at about 7:15 a.m. And it’s going to be really, really good. Unless it’s bad, which is certainly another possibility.