Smells Like Yukon Flog

As foreshadowed earlier this week, we’re running low on unimportant things to write about, so we are now forced to move on to weightier matters–like the two entries we’ve received so far for Caption Contest #12. In response to the image of some sort of gargoyle-like Quasiomoto-ish face pressed against a starboard window of an Air North Hawker-Siddley on approach to the Dawson City airstrip, we have the following:

1. RCMP Corporal Lance Theboyle, seen here on the first leg of his long trip to Pleasant Bay, Newfoundland, is leaving the Yukon after serving 17 years in Old Crow.

2. After the incident, Jim Welsh of Kite Yukon acknowledges, “In hindsight, we shouldn’t have held the kite skiing demonstration so close to the airport.”

We must say, we’re impressed with the willingness to drag innocent, unsuspecting third parties into the practitioning of nonsense at Smells Like Yukon.com. We’re a little more disturbed, however, about the implications that the first caption makes about life in Old Crow. Seventeen years? Mark looked that frazzled after his first trip to the Yukon’s most northerly community–and that visit only lasted about three days. However, this can be explained by the fact that he had to fly from Whitehorse to Old Crow twice to get there once, on account of the plane’s inability to land in ice fog.

All joking aside, Mark says he had a lovely time in Old Crow, especially when the RCMP flew in about 30 buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken for its Christmas open house. The local food was okay, too.

As Yukoners are well aware, Smells Like Yukon may be the best hope for saving the territory–you know, should it ever need saving–but there’s only so much we can do. That’s why we’re asking our faithful listeners and readers to assist us in the monumental task of bringing some focus to our long short-list of ambitious priorities for the future.

Please, take a moment to review our Draft 2008 Strategic Resolutions and let us know where you think we should focus our efforts in the coming year and probably beyond, assuming we’re not dumb or drunk enough to find ourselves in another strategic resolutions session anytime soon….

If you heard the B&R radio segment, you might remember our anonymous informant’s outrageous claims about the harsh treatment of Yukon News reporters who have gotten too close to uncovering the B&R conspiracy. But, as terrifying as the punishment may have sounded, we were pretty sure we could come up with a few alternatives that were even more frighteningly creative. Now, we just need your help to narrow the choices down in the latest Smells Like Yukon poll.

And if you’re wondering about the current results in our previous poll about the laziness of Yukoners (you know, the one we asked you not to vote in), it’s currently a dead heat between Andrew Robulack’s robot fetish and a tumbler full of barf. If you have no idea what that means, consider yourself lucky.

Caption Contest #11 winner Michael Pealow has rendered his final decision in record time, so we not only have a caption finally attached to the semi-nudist on the fringe of Rotary Park; we also have a whole new disturbing image to challenge your minds for Caption Contest #12.

Honestly, we don’t know what to make of it. All we know is the photo was taken on a flight to Old Crow last winter–and the photographer swears up and down that it has NOT been Photoshopped.

Barak Obama may feel like a winner this morning. But, we can’t help asking ourselves: Is he chasing the wrong dream? Does he know about the Smells Like Yukon Caption Contest?

Having contributed four of the total five entries in Caption Contest #11, it shouldn’t come as any surprise to Michael Pealow that he’d be a strong contender to take the “grand” prize, such as it is. And his plan was executed flawlessly, no doubt helped by the fact that he didn’t waste a lot of time and money trying to swing voters in Iowa. However, Michael probably didn’t predict that, after the polls closed, he’d be called upon to step in to break the tie between the contest’s two top entries, both penned by him.

Sadly, this means we’ll all have to wait a little longer to find out which brilliant arrangement of verbs, nouns and other parts of speech will forever be married to the image of some dude passed out in a snowbank in front of the Yukon government main administration building.

As soon as the winner has been declared, we’ll post the image for the next contest. Meanwhile, Michael may also want to start thinking about collecting on his prize for this contest, as well as the previous one. Two coffees with Mark is nothing to turn up your nose at, unless it’s Enviro-Lube coffee and you think Mark’s an ass, which would probably be the case.

The polls are now open for voting to decide the winner of Smells Like Yukon’s Caption Contest #11. As usual, you’re welcome to vote as many times as you like, but bear in mind you’ve only got until Friday, at which point a new contest will begin. Who knows, the next image might even look like it was Photoshopped by someone who knows what he’s doing. Dare to dream!